[excerps from various notes... [entries|friends|calendar] C a n d a c e <3 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[19 Jan 2006|07:47pm] [ mood | nervous ] [ music | blindside-midnight ] I havent updated my journal in years but...If you want to know me for now, :] I Live: In a small development where the houses look like hobbit houses. you will get lost. I Work: at a very high scale italian market on rt.79 that i cannot afford. I Talk: sometimes when im not suppose to. I Wish: that illness was non existant including picking my fingers to shreds. I Enjoy: constantly listening to music and moving and a good dinner. I Look: in a daze most of the time, or confused. I Find: nice hands very attractive. I Smell: absolutely nothing because im sick. most of the time I Listen: to nobodys advice because im stubborn. I Hide: because i hate showing emotions in front of certain people I Pray: accesively, mostly about things that God doesnt care about. I Walk: on the treadmill when i feel fat. I Write: cooonstantly. im always doodling on every peice of paper i find. I See: the glass half full I Sing: Because i can I Laugh: at my own jokes. I Can: be really sensitive even though i hate having that trait. I can: play any instrument you put in front of me I Watch: americas next top model, because i am obsessed with models and the girls next door. hahaha I Yearn: for a promising future I Daydream: waaay too often, sometimes about what plans i have later because i hate being alone. I Want: to live where soul meets body. I Cry: when i feel useless, or when im alone. I Burn: my ear EVERY friggin time i straighten my hair. and i always burn my toast. I Read: Books on makeup. pffff shows how intelligent i am. I Love: every single second i spend, and play, and sleep, and laugh, and eat, and make love..with Jesse Boo! I Sometimes: shower. I Touch: everything, im a hands on kinda person. I Fear: vomit. but im getting better with it i guess being that my dog is a bullemic nutjob. I Hurt: when I see a good person feeling hurt. I Hope: that march 21st comes around reeeeal fast so i can get the fuck off my ass and go to the gym everyday once i get my lisence! and be jesse's designated driver when hes too drunk to drive even though he pulls it off EVERY time. im kidding, he doesnt drive drunk. I Break: off all the ends and little fatty or ugly peices of chicken fingers at old silver tavern I Eat: every hour on the hour. I Quit: every peice of writing or music that i start. I Bathe: alot. sometimes just cuz im cold, or bored. I Drink: ice water I Stop: at a stop sign...? idk. I Saved: a small child once from drowning. except it was my dog because hes too stupid and small to swim. I Hug: people i like. i love hugsss I Play: a mean game of chess. haha i was on the chess team in school last year for a good 45 minutes I Miss: everyday that passes, and my sister I Forgive: but i dont forget. I Learned: that speaking your mind will get you no where, anddd that you can be awake while getting open brain surgery. I Dream: about sex...alot, in weird places, and i dream about random people i see or thigns i have done that day. I Have: a beauty mark in my right eye and NO, i do not wear contacts. I Don't: think i have done any homework since 8th grade. or so... I Made: someone cry once, for a good reason. and it made me feel something i have never felt before. I Kiss: my dog on the lips after he throws up, and i kiss jesse on the lips! I Believe: that in my past lifetime i was a blade of grass. and i also beleive...that life is too short to fuck everything up. so fuck it up quicker, and THEN get real. I Wait: for tomorow. ---- If I had to live the rest of my life as a fruit, I would be a: PINNEAPPLE! YESS! I Cant stand the idea of eating: fucking onions, and viel. If I could give the pinky toe on my left foot a nickname, it would be: idk, Adam. WTF KINDA QUESTION IS THAT!? If you could be what animal what would it be: an entire school of fish. How do your feet feel right now: my left one hurts a bit and is problly bleeding, and the right ones just chillin If the city you live in had an appropriate motto, which one would fit best:"Hi, im Freehold..and im PROBABLLY an illegal citizen and take up most of our population." If you were to step outside ur house RIGHT NOW what would you wear: A down parka. -- DO YOU... Smoke: not habitually Cuss: like a sailor! Sing: of course. Take a shower everyday: no Have a crush(es): for a year and 2 months <3 Think you've been in love: known. Believe in yourself: 100% motion sickness: mentally yes. Think you're attractive: absolutely Think you're a health freak: YES Get along with your parents: yes indeed Like thunderstorms: No, they are gay. i only like them when im with jesse cuz hes all like "yaaay i love thunderstorms! lets cuddle!" IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU.. Drank alcohol: yes'm Smoked: no Done a drug: besides steroids no. Had Sex: yes, i make love. Made Out: suure Gone on a date?: Hm..possibly. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: i friggin could! i love oreos =] Eaten sushi: BLECH Been on stage: nopey Gone skating: naw Gone skinny dipping: hehe in my showerr. Dyed your hair: yeah today! Stolen anything: probablly. random? - Age you hope to be married: late twentys. im not starting my life at 40. Numbers and names of children: 2. Jack and Daniel. not even kidding.. Describe your dream wedding: standard...in a church, but a really nice cozy church with lots of candles maybe...and roses...and old fashioned looking, and pretty people, but it doesnt matter as long as my groom is there. How do you want to die: infamously. What place would you most like to visit: Berlin, but my dads jewish and honestly wont let me. || Favorite: || 4 letter word: BOO! Actor: Jude Law, nick cage Board game: FUCK boardgames. Book: catcher in the rye Candy: coookiessess =] Cartoon: Home movies Cereal: honey bunches of oats! Chewing gum: sweet mint Color(s): brown green and like, dark brown. Day of week: sunday. gods given day of rest =] Flower: flowers make me sneeze Jello flavor: Jello sucks. especially jello shots Jewelry: silver and hearts Summer/Winter: lil bit of both Trampolines or swimming pools: trampolines, WHILE swimming. Band: are good. Apples or bananas?: apples and peanut butta Blue or red?: blue and red? Walmart or target?: targyyy Spring or Fall?: spring cuz my birthday is the first day of spring...and fall because i love the weather and the leaves and the memories peace OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT can you feel the heat?

[30 Aug 2005|11:22pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | dredg- blue eyes ] well, today was quite interesting. i woke up and i had cereal...then i went and got my hair done. i was suppose to get highlights like i guess blondeISH....but i guess she thought i said BRONZE because they came out really stupid looking. u actually cant even tell the different form the highlights i had before which pissed me off the most. i feel bad becuz my hair is kinda an issue with me and my mom paid alot of money for really nothing. SO... besdies that. i went to my moms frends hosue with her because she was painting her kitchen so i just sat there...and read a magazine and looked at 17 pictures of brad pitt. aftre that i had plans with brittany for the night so my family and brittany all went to chillis for dinner...it was hilarious. whenever im with her its just a ridiculous thing really. i cant even explain. the food was awesome... and then we went to see 40 yr old virgin and u know how theres always that like really obnoxious person in the movie who laughs ridiculously at EVERYTHINg....yeah that was brittany. it was kinda funny tho cuz shes not afraid to well....be herself i guess? idk it was funny. we had some peanut M&M's then my mom picked us up and we went to go see her new house. which MIGHT I ADD is fucking enormous...and im really jelous of it...because she used to be my neighbor and we had the exact same hosue and now shes moved on to bigger and better things and idk. its weird....the house is amazing. her room is the size of my house...and she has her own bathroom and everything. the basement is like a night club..amazing. its just great. i cant wait til its done it will be beautiful and so much fun. no brittany im not using u for your house buh. =]    -on a gayer note...i take my permit test tomoro morning at 10:45 for the 3rd time now. third times a charm i guess, i hope. basically im an idiot. but anyways...wish me luck? 2 ...went up in FLAMES /*/can you feel the heat?

[29 Aug 2005|01:35am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | bury your head. ] -ok, the truth. the cheese fries thing was just a little preview. ive come to the conclusion that my life is like an ice cube. no matter where you put it...it melts. if you put it in a cup with some nice diet pepsi...eventually it just makes ur drink colder and slowly melts. if u put it in something hot...like soup to help it cool down, it just melts even faster. hahah im completely just spitting this from my ass and its going nowhere. its actually just cuz one day jesse and i were eating pizza and i looking into a cup of just ice and got really sad for some reason and compared my life to an ice cube then jesse made some funny joke like "i always know when to pull out" kinda thing. hes a funny guy. -on a lighter note...yesterday was our 9 month anniversary =] it was amazing. we just really hung around all day but when it came dinner time we went to a great resteraunt. it was a nice candle light dinner...and the people were very proper and it was just nice for a change. the service was amazing as was the food. omg the food we both enjoyed. i kidna felt like i was in a movie like after dinner, they dimmed the lights and this guy was there who started to sing sinatra type music for everyone and he kept staring at jesse and I so jesse was like yeah i hired him to sing for you which i thought was really funny. then he got me a little presant. he got me this gorgeous ring with all diamonds and it was just awesome. i love it more than anything. hes gunna get it engraved soon with our innitials or something. hes truely amazing that boy... -today kinda blew...im not gunna lie im so lonely because my sister moved into rutgers this morning...and it didnt quite hit me until now. im so sad...i always spend the night with her real late. i miss that psycho. <3 then i went to some family thing in this like mansion and theyre uncle has like 2 ferraris and what not. i SO wish that i could grow upa nd be rich with nice cars. anyway jesse stopped by we watched some VMA's which really actually sucked. WAY too many colored people and DIDDY for me. ive been sitting at this computer for ages.. eating watermelon and drinking water...studying for my driving test..just bein gay. im PMSing horribly lately, so sorry for being bitchy. im not going to bed now but goodnight.   2 ...went up in FLAMES /*/can you feel the heat?

[29 Aug 2005|01:18am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Soasin ] -knock knock. whos there. cheese fries, cheese fries who? im fucking STARVING!! 1 ...went up in FLAMES /*/can you feel the heat?

[14 Apr 2005|09:18pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | from first to last ] yes i stole this from brittanys journal. enjoy.   the Bold applies to me...and the red REALLY applies to me even harder. =] 01. My hair is still its natural color. 02. I have yet to lose my virginity. 03. I get annoyed when I don't get to finish telling a story. 04. I like to wear pink.  05. Sometimes I wish I could do something really well. 06. I drink a lot of water. 07. I've never taken a hit of a cigarette. 08. I like musicians. 09. I'm such a health freak.  ( i kinda hafta be since im allergic tot he world ) 10. I like taking pictures. 11. I have about 50 magazines. 12. I can identify some close friends by smell. 13. I'm far too nice. 14. I hate when people confuse "your" and "you're". 15. I think dorkiness is attractive. 16. I've never had a fake screen name.  17. I wish I had a pug. ( I HAVE A PUG!!! his name is cosmo and hes a good boy.) 18. I miss my childhood.  19. I have pretty good eating habits. 20. I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes. 21. I wish my hair naturally curled. 22. I can't live without chapstick. 23. I wish I could sing. 24. I like classical music. 25. Striped pants are hot. 26. I think Schylar is a really cool name. 27. I usually don't get sarcasm. 28. I wish I could look in a mirror and constantly be satisfied with myself. 29. I shift between being sleepy and awake when I'm really tired. 30. I hardly ever vaccum. 31. I hate racism. 32. I want someone to hold me. 33. I like candy. 34. I'm a snob about grammar. ( idk sometimes it bothers me. depends how bad it is) 35. I am a terrible liar. 36. Axe deoderant smells good. 37. I wish I knew how to speak in Italian. 38. I tried to kiss a member of the opposite sex when I was in kindergarten. 40. I have no idea what my school musical is about. 41. I appreciate honesty. 42. I need a manicure. 43. I love Dr. Pepper. 44. I twirl my hair. 45. I like kissing. 46. I don't own a cellphone. 47. I want to learn to play the harp. 48. I'm not old enough to vote. 49. I live in the past far too much. 50. I need to remember not to be a teenager sometimes. 51. I want to see most of the world 52. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in other parts of the world. 53. I hate being lied to. 54. I believe in a thing called love. 55. I go shopping usually once a week. 56. Today is Wednesday. 57. I've read more than 100 books. 58. I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme. 59. I like feet. 60. Hilary Duff is hott. 61. I want the world to see me. 62. I think it's funny when girls wear so much makeup that their faces become incandescent. 63. I hate seeing kids that think they're different because they like Slipknot and shop at Hot Topic. 64. I have a fear of wearing too much cologne. 65. I wear pants more than I wear shorts. 66. I keep my room very neat. 67. I'm afraid of spiders. 68. I get too attached to some people. 69. I'm usually on time. 70. I forgive but I don't forget. 71. I think way too much for my own good. 72. My current relationship is teaching me a lot. 73. I like salads from McDonalds. 74. I read for at least two hours every night before bed. 75. I talk to a lot of people I don't like because I hate being rude. 76. I sing in the shower. 77. Funny girls turn me on.  78. I wish I were asleep. 79. I love Reeses peanut butter cups. 80. I never have enough energy. 81. I have a friend who has an outtie bellybutton. 82. I have driven a car. 83. There is no nailpolish on my nails. 84. I have more then 2 pets. 85. I wear brown, thin-rimmed glasses. 86. Goodbyes make me sad. 87. Cold Stone is so much better than Baskin Robbins. 88. I love cuddling. 89. I run when I'm bored. 90. I wish I were more attractive to other people. 91. I worry too much sometimes about what people think. 92. I'm a billion times better than I was in junior high school. 93. Compliments make me happy. 94. I like long car rides with certain people. 95. I hate when people incorrectly label me. 96. I wonder a lot who I'm going to end up marrying. 97. I listen to the things no one else cares about 98. I can't draw from imaginiation. 99. TyPiNg LIeK diS anNoyes mEeeh.. 100. I'm hungry. 5 ...went up in FLAMES /*/can you feel the heat?

[31 Mar 2005|08:43pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | NMH ] So my parents have been gone since monday and they come home tomoro. Jesse has slept over 2 nights now and weve been going to bed at like 2 in the morning. ive been exhausted and this morning we came into school late twice so we both have detention now. aiowrughp;weroghwerg i HATE detentionnnnnnn. i miss my parents and i miss having sleep and i feel like crap. ive been so sad lately just about being always sick n stuff and im just really edgy all the time and i know im getting my period hah but idk im like stressed out and what not. i hate feeling like this. school sucked ass today i had detention and this kid had a pack of ciggarettes in his coat pocket i took them out and put one in my mouth and was joknig around with it and my teacher i think saw me and i dropped it and got like shit all over the desk. ciggarettes are gross. bleh. it was funny tho then amy picked me up and we went to Kc's cuz we got haircuts form her. she just fixed the back of my hair really thats it. we went for pizza after that now im home and im bored as fuck because my sister and all her frends went out and i HATE HATE HATEAT EAHT AEHTA BEING ALONE. i really do. and i know how some people need alone time but it makes me so lonely. = [ even just hearing other peoples voices makes me content. silence creeps me outttt. ill just watch a million movies i guess. they wont be home til like 2 in the morning. gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy can you feel the heat?

[27 Mar 2005|10:19pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | 2 headed boy ] Helloooo! HAPPY EASTERSSSSS TO EVERYONE! my easter wasnt ALL bad. i woke up at 9, went to the gym for an hour or so...sweat my ass off...eat corn flakes, the norm. im def gunna get like buff pretty soon and im actually really excited about tanning at my gym too not cuz its like free but because if you stood me next to like a ghost youde prob not know the difference. so yeah im pumped about that. Went to the uncles today way up north i fuckin hate the ride up there cuz my sister always gets sick. i put money on it that she did and well, she did. it wasnt that bad when i got there cuz i kinda slept the whole time and ate my fav dessert ever, chocolate covered strawberrys. =D i miss Kelly...but ill see her soon. it was me and Jesse's 4 month anniversary yesterday. YES STILL GOIN STRONG! hes the best. nothing really interesting has been happening so heres a few pictures for ya. -apparently im giving people haircuts now. im good =]  no charge!   ( Random pictures for everyone!  ) 1 ...went up in FLAMES /*/can you feel the heat?

[26 Mar 2005|08:57am] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Modest Mousey ] yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so yesterday i woke up because Jayjay and I were suppose to go to the Gym really early and work out and what not for the first time so i called him at 9 30 and apparently he had a rough night the night beforeeeee so i ended up goin there at like 11 30 or so and chris and Nick were there so we just chilled for a bit. then chris drove us to our NEW gym Elite in Manalapan. we got there and the guy like lost our paperwork so he just let us work out anyways. it was really nice. its a nice gym and Jesse likes it. worked out played some cool basketball made some shots then we went back to his house. Mike came over and we went to that site Ogerish.com for like 2 hours just looking at gross shit then ebaumsworld which was really funny. we then realized that mike has no heart. anyways, jesse kev chris me and mike went to applebees and we sat next to this kid who looked just like the guy from weezer so chris wrote on a napkin Weezer with an arrow and licked it and stuck it to the wall. He def. saw but ignored it. JEsse paid for my dinner and it turned out his and mine were the most expensive. ours alone came out to be like $30. sorry babe. we went back to willys after that cuz the guys were going to some weird NJ shit tonight so it was just me and olivia. - My sister backed up onto my neighbors lawn and the guy has been standing out there for at least an hour being a little puss puss. - goin to the mall AGAIN TODAY! but theres nothing better to do - tommorrow is Me and Jesse's 4 month anniversary. =] <3 - our first break felt like an hour. this sucks...and i gotta go pee. LATER ( Britt and I sleepover ) can you feel the heat?

[23 Mar 2005|06:51pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Blonde Redhead- A Cure ] Yeah. So ive decided to start up my livejournal again, because ive come to the realization that its alot easier for me to write things down to express how i feel and how my day was rather than talk about it. 1) because im not really good at expressing myself, and 2) because when i talk to much the amount of acid that piles up at the back of my throat is enough to burn a hole in your skin. i have acid reflux basically is what im saying. and its funny cuz thats the reason why ashlee simpson cant sing alot or else shed be spewing acid all over the place. unless thats just another one of her crappy excuses of being a shitty singer. ANYWAY. So lately ive been completely stressed out over school work and shit and just a whole bunch of stuff. Ever have a day where your just really sensitive towards everything and it seems like everyone is out to get you...or like ever feel like crying for no apparent reason? well ive been having a few days like that. and im getting my period but that has nothing really to do with it besides the fact that my boobs really hurt. - Jesse and I have decided to join a gym...and we were really pumped for WOW! but that didnt work out. so were prob gunna join the gym the rest of my family goes to. idc what gym it is as long as im working out. not just because i wanna lose weight and tone up and shit but because im really not healthy and i gotta build up my immunity and the nutritionist told me i have a bad case of the couh potato. that made me feel weak as snails. THEREFOR we are gyming it. - i payed a kid in my bio class $5 to do my lab report. so thats out of the way - Kelly gets her licence tuesday which im real excited about because shes the only frend of mine who will be able to drive. let alone my only frend for that matter. Pffff - i quit drums today because my teacher hits on me and touches me. - My back really hurts on days like this. i hate the rain more than alot of things and i hate cold weather but then again in the summer i break out in hives from the sun so im basically a vegetable. - Im really happy otherwise with Jesse and the few frends that i have. i thought about it alot and i think i should start talking to some frends that i abandom over the months and stuff because i did have many close frends that i just stopped talking to. but i realized i should keep in touch with them becuz i really havent been and i need to keep my frendships in tact. its for my own good... so long, and goodnight. <3 1 ...went up in FLAMES /*/can you feel the heat?

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]